Norris, Len

"... we were burning the fourth and last mortgage."
"Maybe so ... but neither are you 23 years younger that I am."
"Who's my Alma temporary acting Mater today?"
"... and I say the least they should do is name the building after you."
"Darling ... you look deductible tonight."
"Ah, Mrs. Phigobeigh ... I thought I'd find you here ..."
"... don't often find a captive audience ... think I should give 'em the speech a third time ..."
["Truck loggers convention wives' fashion show"]
"Now I see how you're having to handle an extra million pieces of mail this year... "
"Actually, I'd just like to pop in once a day and get my own mail deliveries... "
"Beautiful ... but I wonder why they named them Dump and Disposal?"
"You're running for mayor of Vancouver ... so you wish to take a look-see around Blaine?"
"'... further to you enquiry, this ministry can advise that lottery booths, Howe Street, bingo halls, and Exhibition Park do not at present qualify as financial institutions bailoutwise...'"
"What relief knowing we have an all-wise government agent making our moral decisions for us in our very own home."
"... and another thing about capitol punishment, if you hang someone by mistake you don't have all this arguing over compensation to worry about."
"Hello, it's me again ... let's have it this time with your private lowdown on the Pope's chances personalitywise and dogmawise."
"... and after you let me off you can drop the kids off at their schools."
"... little does the wee tyke know that his would-be governors have committed him to enough debt to keep him paying on it for his life time."
"... What we're hoping for this time is a poll result calculated to have some back-room boys quaking in absolute witless panic."
"Not bad ... but not as good a grovel as their leaders' on TV."
"I know what Mulroney will tell us ... but what will he tell them?"
"It used to be something called public transit ... then for reasons you're too young to understand, they did away with the public."
"Trouble is, he's still hot under the collar, boiling mad, and livid around the jowls from the last bout ...."
"He's just realised we've elected a new prime minister with nobody allowed to vote except Liberals ..."
"When I think of those Western leaders gathered in London in economic summit without having the benefit of your pithy comments on taxes, interest rates ..."