Norris, Len

"If things keep going the way they have, you'll soon be able to get the prime minister on the 'phone with a station-to-station call..."
"Unemployed bricklayer? ... no, actually, I'm an unemployed glazier by trade."
"Bad news, Dr. Thwart ... we're running out of things to ban that people enjoy."
"How'd you like to start by exploring my tires for air, my battery for water, my engine for oil, my windscreen for dirt and my gas tank for gas?"
"... say something nice about Mounties."
"Would you believe, I actually found an electric fan for sale! Then I remembered the energy crisis."
"I've got ghastly news for you ... they've found a pill to replace rum and lemon."
"... and everyone knows that what you're doing is no use."
"I've been looking at the prices ... do you sell poached eggs?"
"And what did we do today ... play football in the mud or attend the legislature?"
"It's even worse ... the Socreds have brought back funny money."
"... and among the solid arguments for holding a small equity and a large mortgage ..."
"The moment Newtin works out the minor travel details, this whole northern natural gas pipeline carfuffle becomes unnecessary."
"... rattle in trunk, idle seems a bit fast, dome light is out ... and by the way, last Monday the passenger seatbelt buckle stuck shut."
"I've worked out the government's $350 insulation offer and after taxes, if the house is 21 years old, if there's no sales tax, if we have an individual gas meter ... we can weatherstrip the back door!"
"... you start making exceptions and there goes the crusade."
"Fear not ... everyone is entitled to his day in court ... and yours is Wednesday, from 10:45 to 11."
"... an' 'e said, 'I'm Amin, wot's way t'London' ... then 'e changed 'is mind agin."
"You've got to give credit to a marketing board that isn't chicken about selling you three-month-old fresh eggs that are not chicken ..."
"If he hasn't seen the item, how come he's studying travel folders, cruise dates and cabin plans?"
"... may I see something on the art of basic hypochondria?"
"Hydro should never offer $500 loans for insulating in the summer ..."
"Charles is torn on the Berger report betwixt no gas for the furnace and saving the wildlife ..."
SUPPORT MILES FOR MILLIONS IN A COMFORTABLE PEW
"For quoting the Prime Minister."