Harrop, Graham

TOPPLING THE GOVERNMENT STEPHEN HARPER'S SECRET STRATEGY PLAN 1 Fake call lures Prime Minister to South Beach for further diet instructions. Government falls in absence. PLAN 2 Peter MacKay dons Bono [...]
"And with this runaway dump truck thing becoming a regular occurrence, Alfred, I suggest we either enlarge the dining area or make representation to city council to charge some kind of toll."
"Before I buy my ticket, is there any possibility that this airline might go broke?" "Not a chance." "We only fly after dark when landing fees and maintenance charges are far, far cheaper." "Also, [...]
"Hey when are they gonna need guns?" TRANSIT FORCE TO CARRY GUNS "Next fare increase?"
"Oh, for Heaven's sake, Roger, lighten up! On this day EVERYBODY'S Irish!" "Well, it's a damn pain if you ask me!" U.S. BORDER U.S. CITIZENS FAST LANE
"Goodbye, Premier Campbell. After years of animosity, it was so nice to receive my chair from the legislature!" "Heck, Joy we're gonna do better than that!" "DELIVERY FOR JENNY KWAN!" JAGRUP BRAR
"It's another setback for the Canadian cattle industry, Prime Minister." "Those dang U.S. senators and their beef ban are stopping us from getting our cattle into the States!" "Frankly, we think that [...]
"I tell you, this whole government ban on fox hunting makes me bloody MAD!" "A tradition that goes back hundreds of years cut short! Centuries of privilege curtailed!" "Well, nothing for it, I [...]
Timeline for the Premier's Get-Fit' Program FEBRUARY Premier gives citizens til 2010 to shape up. Citizens give him until this May. MAY Campbell orders vitamins for populace. People don't have [...]
"Mister Chrtien we are talking here about the biggest scandal in Canadian history!" "We are talking about millions and millions in taxpayers money that has gone missing!" "We are talking about [...]
"You knew what the agreement was when we allowed Wal-Mart to build its very first store here in Vancouver!" CITY HALL ENVIRONMENTAL COMMITTEE "Windmills, geothermal heating and hundreds of Dogwood [...]
"The health groups have filed a lawsuit to make us take light' and mild' off our cigarette packages! If they succeed, we'll lose millions! We've got to find a substitute and QUICK!" BIG TOBACCO "What now?" SMOKOS! THEY'RE SOOTHING!
SOME CHRISTMAS GIFTS To Condi, George, Don R. and Co. a sprig of Yuletide missile-toe To Judy S. (God Bless her soul) a visit to the North er pole CIBC? (They'll understand) we faxed your card [...]
QUARTER OF TEENS NEGATIVE ABOUT SCHOOL "You know, I wouldn't want to be in school again if you PAID me!" "All the rules, restraints and restriction[s]! I tell you your life's not your OWN!" "Nossir [...]
"Ho! Ho! Ho! What a LONG lineup! Well, come on up and bring your Christmas list for Santa!" END NHL LOCKOUT "One at a time, buster!"
VOTING BOOTH "Yes - that's all we have to offer at the present time! Now - just VOTE!"
LILLOOET "Remember when VANCOUVER used to be called the big smoke?"
"Congratulations on your historic space flight. Did you pass over Canada?" "Actually, no." "Are you sure?"
"Mr. Martin - your thought on the sponsorship program." "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!" "Prime Minister - about the $2 billion gun registry debacle?" "I'm lovin' it." "Sir - what is the next [...]
THE GREAT DEBATE What to look for: Martin promises to address democratic deficit by depositing $300 into John Kerry's bank account. Still wearing spandex, Jack Layton passes out after bicycling to [...]
"What is your party's position on death taxes?" "We believe in a radically new approach." "We'll give him another half hour and then we're going after him!"
"Hello - Royal Bank? I'm at one of your instabanks. I just want to report another malfunction!" "I'll be right down!" "Take your time."
TARGETING UNRULY CANINES ... THE CITY TAKES ACTION - Dogs must now line up at public washrooms in orderly fashion. Queue jumping could result in flea bath. Dressed as beagles, park officials go [...]
"What's this about some new holidays Jack Layton is proposing?" "We take them if we lose."
"If an election were held today in B.C. - who would you vote for?" "Are you SERIOUS?" "They're ALL bums!! NDP, Liberals, Conservatives - none of them keep their promises!" "I've HAD it with the old [...]