Harrop, Graham

"Look at the little one! Isn't he cute?" "And look at the mother! I think she's trying to entertain us!" "They really are funny looking creatures, but how do they survive behind the glass walls?" "One of life's little mysteries, I guess."

"You say that the ferry has broken down..there's a ten sailing wait and what else?" "We're charging a camping fee."

"Honey - I'm so glad I came to the beach! The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the kids are playing in the water." "Hang on ... my other phone is ringing."

Fred would regret Earl's offer of a lift "Need a ride?"

Fashion reporters at sporting events. "Who are you wearing?"

Fred's efforts to promote Canada would go unrewarded. "... And two on me backside."

"Til death - or the Campbell government puts us in separate nursing homes at the age or 80 or so - do us part."

"Increased medical fees ... student fees ... gas hikes ... charging for tap water ... what will the government think of next?" "How long have you been leaning on that counter?"

"Looks like the government has found a way to finance an upgrade of the Squamish highway."

"I couldn't believe it ... the middle of the night ... such excitement ... such passion ... I'd never seen Lyle in such a state." "And then what happened?" "I think England scored again."

"It's the Queen ... were you at Hastings Park yesterday?"

Another reason why tightrope walking across Niagara Falls should be scheduled.

A Lexus McDonough "Beep beep"

"... And well over $800,000 has been spent on the care, treatment and medical expenses of Springer." "In other news, a pod of 80 seniors was spotted today swimming towards Victoria."

Inspired by the Viagra commercial, Ed would, ironically, not need to take any for months. "YAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"Premier Campbell? Remember telling us health care workers to treat seniors like their own mother? Well, I'd just sent mine to Hawaii ..."

"What are we going to do with the Seven Seas?" "Travel 'em."

"It was HORRIBLE! I was abducted by ALIENS who performed all kinds of medical tests, procedures and exams on me! The good news is ..." "Yes?" "I didn't have to wait."

Pot luck "Hey man! Here's that doobie that I rolled in '67!"

Thanks to Sheila Fraser, the Liberals lose another two seats. "You never sit in the front, so I'm taking these out."

"Public-private partnership hospital, eh? Where does the private come in?" "Coke."

"Still - it might have been better to wait until you'd actually WON the $34 million. Carol..."

Lottery WIN your very own SURGEON Will do: Gall Bladders, Hip Replacements Knees "We're sold out."

Why the Mafia should never be in charge of overnight stays at the aquarium. "How'd you like to sleep with the fishes?"