Harrop, Graham

"It was going to roll down the little hole but I stopped it!" FIRST AND LAST DAY AS TIGER WOODS' CADDY.
"I was going to do one more number but I see you're all asleep." YAWNNI
REASON OVER PASSION IT WAS JUST ALBERT'S BAD LUCK TO BREAK TRUDEAU'S SIGN.
"You only go round once." WHY PHILOSOPHERS SHOULD NEVER WORK THE CARNIVAL.
"According to this your account's frozen." #1 PROBLEM IN ALASKAN BANKS.
MIR EARTH CRASH' TEAM "Where is Paul Henderson's house, comrade?" ANOTHER SIGN THAT THE RUSSIANS STILL AREN'T OVER THE 1972 HOCKEY SERIES LOSS.
"You told me you were in stocks!"
"McGuire looks ... here's the pitch ... the swing ..."
FIFI LA FOOMBA STRIPPER IT WAS THE DRUG SQUAD'S BIGGEST BUST.
"YOU THIRSTY LITTLE BLOODSUCKER!" REVENUE CANADA ABSOLUTELY WORST TIME TO SPOT A MOSQUITO.
"Mah daddy did it that way an' you can bet you're a** ahm gonna do it that way TOO!" PRECEDENT BUSH.
"Lower taxes ... minimum wage ... no GST on ladies footwear." PLATFORM SHOES.
MOST LIKELY TO WIN SURVIVOR'
ALASKA AIRLINES "We can't get on the 3:10 ... the 5:30 is sold out ... and the 7:20 is cancelled." FLIGHTLESS BIRDS.
"I'm going to hang the mistletoe from the uvula ... you run next door and visit Mr. Jonah!" A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WHALES.
REAL ESTATE "Everything but the kitchen sink!" IT TOOK A LONG TIME BEFORE JORGE SOLD HIS FIRST HOUSE.
"Wouldst not present unto the world not what it seems? Thou dost protest too much our facial creams." THE BARD OF AVON.
"Dry" TO HENDRICKS, THE LACK OF WATER WAS INCONTROVERTIBLE PROOF THAT THERE HAD NEVER BEEN LIFE ON MARS.
"DA DA" WHEN BABY BOOMERS REFUSE TO GROW UP.
Things you didn't know about the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra... Tuba player doubles as doorman during slack periods Entire strings section outfitted in rain gear 'Papa loves mambo' most requested song
"Nine ... eight ... seven ..." HAVING AMASSED OVER SEVEN MILLION FREQUENT FLYER POINTS, ELMER ELECTS TO TAKE THEM ALL AT ONCE.
British Columbia Salutes Greenpeace Day "we would also like to thank Greenpeace for promoting B.C. as 'Brazil North' - sending us all those tourists who would have otherwise gone to Rio..."
"This is Jeopardy!" "Now entering our studio are: a piano thrower from Kenora, a walnut impersonator from Lac la Hache, and a tulip grower from Fantasy Gardens who dabbles in politics..." "Am I getting overtime for this?"
"K-MART. Please." GOVERNMENT MINISTERS REALLY TRYING TO ECONOMISE.
NO PORKING WHEN GOVERNMENTS REFORM