Harrop, Graham

PAMELA ANDERSON GREY CUP PARADE MARSHALL "Mom - remember Dad saying that even though the Lions lost, it was his duty as a loyal fan to attend the Grey Cup parade?"
"I'm thinking it's the end of the new civility in the legislature."
"Mister speaker - will the NDP join us in voting ourselves a 15% pay raise?" "Absolutely NOT! We were thinking more like 25%." The NDP does its best to provide opposition.
Elections Hall Results Sullivan A better Vancouver' Green Keep a good thing going' Campbell I'm not leaving' "The Senate ran out of beds."
SALTERY BAY NEWS GREEN ANSWERS CHARGES OF CAMPAIGN MUDSLINGING' Vision's Green responds to questions yesterday An irate Jim Green denied charges today that he is running a misleading campaign. [...]
NPA Office of the Campaign Manager SAM: Forget the Larry Campbell jibe about the NPA burying you for eight years - the man's a former coroner for pete's sake - he's looking for work. Also - ease up [...]
"Look, Helen! The Bay is selling their 2010 Winter Olympic clothing line already! Boy! They're certainly gung ho about the games!" "Well, I still prefer the escalator!"
"So you see, Stephen, you hold the poppy like this." "You then take the pin and stick it through the lapel." "And after that you gently bend the end up like so." Recovery Unit "Where's the leader?"
MEMPHIS CHRONICLE An angry Paul Martin said today that Ottawa is prepared to litigate the softwood lumber dispute. Bush responded by saying: Watergate ... Travelgate ... Litigate ... will it never [...]
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Former Prime Minister Jean Chretien is currently at a McDonald's in suburban Laval and attempting to purchase a Big Mac at a discount by brandishing his I Voted Liberal in the Last Election' Card.
NORTH KOREAN TIMES and the Dear Leader moved quickly to dispel any rumours of failing health, attributing the misinformation to foreign media and an unfortunate translation of his name. Kim Jong Il! [...]
"My government fully accepts the findings of the Gomery report." "We fully accept that millions of tax payer dollars were wasted through mismanagement." "And as your Prime Minister, I now fully [...]
BOOK EXCERPT THE STONE DIARIES These will last,' the clerk at the bookstore assured me. Paper ... forget it. These will be around forever.' He handed them over to me quickly, dropping one on my foot. You clumsy oaf,' I shouted angrily.' These weigh
"Goodbye, Condoleezza! Have a nice trip back to Washington! Tell George how we feel about softwood." "Paul! Look! Condoleezza forgot her handbag! She left her bag behind! "Good heavens, Pierre ... [...]
TEACHER'S VOTE "Boy! That bill 12 sure has caused a lot of upheaval!" "It wasn't bill 12 that worried me." "It was bills three, four, five, six and seven."
"We think you'll be pleased. You asked for a golden parachute and we've included skydiving lessons."
"Hello DFO? A new audit indicates over-spending by your department on meals, flights and travel." "Absolutely NOT! Our primary focus is fish - always HAS been fish and will CONTINUE to be fish!" Have [...]
"I support you 100%" "The government isn't always right." "If you don't like a law - BREAK IT! - That's what I say!" "We think this is the fellow who stole your wallet."
"Jam on the steering wheel ... cookies on the floor ... pop spilled on the seat!" "Think of it as an anti-theft device."
"Well I drove up to the pump Cause the price said 109 An'I grabbed an' raised the nozzle An' I straightened out the line An' I started pumpin' gas An' it started flowin' through An' the feller [...]
"Well - say one thing for this dispute... It's done wonders for the class size."
"They say if you're on a diet long enough Louise, that everything reminds you of food..." Elaine would require three stitches at Vancouver General
"You know - we're not ready for a disaster! What about a worst case scenario? Are we prepared?" "You are SO negative." CANUCKS ARE BACK SELLOUT IS EXPECTED "I'm sure the scalpers will have some extra tickets on hand."
MESSAGE TO LOUISE L- Wal-Mart is now selling sex-toys. Dump those two little rocket ships I bought young Walter two weeks ago. I should have known better. I think it was the blast off label that fooled me! Rhonda
BC CAN SUE TOBACCO GIANTS "This is GREAT! Our government could rake in billions in a judgment against big tobacco." "The more health-related damage we can prove the bigger the award." KEEP SMOKING! - your government