Harrop, Graham

"Whew! I made it on time! Traffic is light today, I see! I thought I might be late for the crossing!" "Nope." "Lane two." BURRARD STREET BRIDGE BIKES CARS MOPEDS UNI-CYCLES ROLLER-BLADERS MONKEYS WAGON TRAINS
CHANNEL 7 NEWS "According to reports, Karl Rove has the President's confidence, Arlene." "That's right Tom, and he wants it back"
"Defence Minister! Another landing on Hans Island! It's probably the Danes!" "I KNEW it! Well, that little remote outpost is OURS! Major General SCRAMBLE THE JETS!" "HIMMEL! Someone has landed on [...]
"Ottawa is stepping into the port dispute!! They've ordered the one or two containers vital to the nation's interest to be released IMMEDIATELY!" Trucker[s] Ass'n. PORT DISPUTE DRAGS ON "Beach towels on their way, Prime Minister."
"What really bothers Horace is that it would have cut twenty-two minutes off the crossing time!" TUNNEL UNDER BORDER SHUT DOWN WOULD HAVE BEEN USED FOR DRUGS
"Great! Two lanes of the Burrard Street Bridge dedicated to cyclists! I see everyone in Vancouver on a bike by 2010!" CAR THEFTS CONTINUE "Maybe sooner than that!"
"Canada is in a high state of alert. Their movements in this country are being constantly tracked and scrutinized and they are under 24-hour surveillance." TOP SECRET BEN AND JEN WATCH "I understand [...]
JACQUES CHIRAC'S G8 DIARY Alors! ARRIVE IN SCOTLAND AND SET TO WORK TO RESOLVE WORLD CRISIS "Tony Blair heard what you said about British food" MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH! IMMEDIATELY IDENTIFY CAUSE OF [...]
CSIS DIARY EARLY MORNING CALL FROM SPECIAL CSIS AGENT WHOSE IDENTITY HAS SO FAR GONE UNDETECTED. "Hi it's Oprah." MAJOR SETBACK AS WIFE SEES THROUGH CLEVER DISGUISE ADOPTED FOR REMAINDER OF DAY. "Is [...]
THE PRIME MINISTER: GETTING THE CONSERVATIVES OUT OF THE HOUSE DURING A KEY VOTE "Hey! Is that a giant spider sitting next to John Reynolds?" "Three o'clock??! The Life and Times of Dalton Camp is on [...]
"These ferry breakdowns are becoming a regular event! We've got to DO something about it!" B.C. FERRIES TRAVEL SEVEN-DAY CRUISES THREE-DAY CRUISES! "Tsawwassen to Swartz Bay only $99.95!"
"You are hereby ordered not to read, discuss, display, view, touch or otherwise engage the Harry Potter book and to return it promptly and forthwith." LEGAL "And then will you let my puppy go?"
"I tell you Chirac - that will put us in the hole!" "Bah! And I do not like your approach Schroeder!" "And you, Blair, have a BUNKER mentality!" "I tell you - it's a trap!" "BUNKER MENTALITY!" "IT'S [...]
PAUL MARTIN ADDRESSES THE NATION "My fellow Canadians: I finally passed the budget. And you thought kidney stones were tough!" "The Conservatives were occupied elsewhere - thank goodness for old [...]
"Boy! The city went all out for the tall ships! Some of those suckers are over 100 feet high!" "I mean, I would have thought that Tall Ship Island would have been enough!" WELCOME TALL SHIPS "Maybe you should lower your mast."
"So Jacques Chirac thinks that British food is bad, does he?" CHIRAC SLAMS ENGLISH CUISINE TO PUTIN, SCHROEDER "So he thinks it's the country with the worst food in the world after Finland, does he?" [...]
"And it pains me that despite our best efforts to provide more fun here at city hall i.e. the helium balloon and party hat Larry Campbell still decided to quit." KINDLY WAIT BYLAW 27: NO FIGHTING CITY HALL PERMITS DOG LICENSES
STEPHEN HARPER TALKS ABOUT HIS IMAGE MAKEOVER "Hello. This summer I will be travelling across the country to convince Canadians I really am a nice guy." "I will be releasing puppies from dog pounds, [...]
"Would it help if I told you I was one of the respondents approving and/or having faith in our local police force albeit negatively as regards response time?"
"Mister Speaker pushing through the same-sex marriage bill has less to do with debate and more to do with SUMMER HOLIDAYS!" "Oh, get on with it !" TIDES
"I can't believe that I was suckered on the budget vote! Well, that's the last time anyone makes a chump out of Stephen Harper!" "And you're sure Ogopogo will appear?" SEE THE SEA MONSTER 10
AVRIL LAVIGNE: A DAY IN THE LIFE "We're talking BARE here!" ANGRY PHONE CALL TO CLEANERS OVER SHRUNKEN TANK TOP AND EXPOSED BELLY BUTTON. "Hey!! Can anyone hear me?" TRY TO SHUT ME UP' TOUR VERY [...]
Ottawa Horoscopes June 24th Gurmant Grewal will secretly tape you and sell the recordings on E-Bay. "Mmmff- MM-@!!*! Liberals... Goodale... ... take a flying leap..." You will receive an offer of a [...]
PARK "I don't BELIEVE this! It's six bucks an hour to park and who knows HOW long we're going to be here?" GEORGIA ST. LIONS GATE BRIDGE "See if it's cheaper overnight."
"At last my cabinet has come together! Abbott in Health, Bond in Education and Rich Coleman as Minister of F" "I'm a bit worried about Wally Oppal, though he's got no experience as an MLA and [...]