Harrop, Graham

"You in the suit! Tonny Comper wants a ride home!"

COMICS JUDGE SOUTHIN "Mis-trial. The defendant has been sucked up into the ventilation." THAT'S LARRY! "Latest idea we get the games but hold them in Salzburg." MR. PREZ "Well, have they looked [...]

"Good morning, Bank of MontreNovaToronaRoyalaCommerce. Are you still there?"

"I'm short a billion dollars."

"Another call from John Manley"

"Frankly, I always thought it sad that the Swiss army only had the one knife."

"The new polls are out and we are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E."

"Counsel will approach the bench." "Thank you. Run out and get me a pack of ciggies." "I'm sorry the judge can't comment." "Judicial privilege?" "Hacking."

"Got any coal-fired pencils?"

"And Joe Clark is just the man to do something about it!"

Our country: The city Council of Flambe' Manitoba rejected a bid from Wal-Mart to build additional parking spaces at their outlet until..they realized their city was located in the southeast corner of the store!"

On this day last week: the door leading from the Liberal side of the House of Commons to the outside hall stuck.

Not generally known: in recent years the prime minister's security detail has been beefed up! Despite this precaution, however....

News update" In explaining away the recent angling of a baby over a balcony in Germanu, pop star Michael Jackson recealed that...immediately prior, he had watched a similar encounter betwenn Hebb Dhaliwal and Paul Martin!.

"On the plus size...Do you realized what this would cost at Whistler?"

" The efficiency expert is late again"

Arctic ice is melting much faster than previous thought! World leaders, however, are talking immediate steps, including..twelve new refrigerators recently delivered to Inuvik!."

Attempts by scientists at Harvard University to copyright a mouse of their own creation has now caused that prstigious institution to be known as patent place!"

"Wow! I can't believe these pictures from Mars! There's really only one thing to say...Great publicist"

In the sequel to the Jack Nicholson movie 'About Schmidt', A cloning experiment goes awry, causing catastrophe and ..promopting the admonition:'Schmidt Happens!'

"Jingle Bills Jingle bills,Jingle all the way"

"Where is dat cleaning power again...?"

"Quite frankly, it's not much fun having a lion's head, a goat's body and a serpent's tail."

Time Marches on: Sylvester Stallone will be making 'Rocky VI' in which Rocky again will be pounding a side of beef, but this time the beef wins!"