Harrop, Graham

"New York Times, yes, that story is factual. New York Times, yes, that story is true. New York Times, yes, we stand by the accuracy of our reporting. Wait 'til they get to the 'two-headed shark weds Giuliani' story on page 33"

"We're talking with bessie craddock about the mad cow scare.Bessie has this impacted you personally" "IT has ED. I can't enter an airport, a denny's pr a sippermarket without being starred at amd [...]

"Welcome to 'meet the press'.Our guest today is a member of the Bovine Community. Welcome" "Thank you" "The mad cow thing has it given you cause for concern?" "Only when he comes home late, then [...]

"Rafe Mair got the boot for using the 'F'word!" "Gordon Campbell's been using the 'F' word for years!" "You're fired!"

"Canada calling, President Bush" "Oh, no, it's not Chretien again, is it?" "What do you want me to do?" "Do what we always do, refer him to the appropriate agency." "Hello?"

"Does a wise man seek his luggage on a journey to the stars?

"Senator Snorff has floor and a question about the animal welfare bill." "Yes" "Why are we giving animals welfare?" "Yeah, put 'em out to pasture like the rest of us." "Next they'll be flying off to [...]

Senators -- if I may have your undivided attention, please.

"Maybe Paul Martin didn't say he'd reform the senate, maybe he said reFARM!" "That's what he said, reform!" "He's probably going to bring in horses, cows, sheep and duck." "I love duckies, Quack,Quack." "Moo! Moo! Oink!Oink! Baaaa!" "What now?

"Bed news,Senators, Paul Martin is promising to reform the senate." "Is he crazy? We've got everything we need now." "Soda fountain, valet parking, Jacuzzi, what more do we really need?" "True" "Mind [...]

"Ladies and gentlemen: the Canada Setate...Chamber of sober second thought.Appointed for life, Canada's 100-odd senators are only unseated for one reason..." "...The coffee wagon. We heard that! Quiet in bunk fourteen!"

"Man on the street. Who do you want for Prime Minister?" "Well, I'm thinking either Copps, Manley or Martin." "I'm thinking them or that vacationing Iraqi guy they depoped a peposed a few weeks ago." "Saddam Hussein" "Geraldo Rviera."

"Miss Copps?" "The leadership is not a shoo-in for Paul Martin despite public opinion." "Mr. Manley?" "Agreed,this race is far too tight for anyone person to claim." "Prime Minister Martin?" "Sorry, I wasn't listening"

"Welcome to the leadership debates. As might be expected, emotions are running high. With that in mind, we would ask and expect Candidates to observe a minimum of decorum. Please, Miss Copps...put Mr. Manley down. Then get Martin off my leg."

"Did I make a mistake, John? Should I have stayed on as Prime Minister for fourteen months?" "Sir, your contributions are enormous and your early departure would have rend the very fabric of [...]

"Manley! What the hell do you want?" "Permission to go to lunch Prime Minister." "Of course you can go to lunch! You're the Finance Minister for crying out loud! You don't need to ask me!" "You only [...]

"All right, I guess that's cabinet business for this week. Anybody pick up the mail?" "Roger." "Invitation to the Bush ranch?" "Negatory, flyer, Sears catalogue and a coupon for Taxas Joe's barbecue [...]

"All right, I want a new spirit of co-operation here in cabinet from now on.I want a new spirit of respect, esteem and consideration. Any questions?" "Studley?" "Manley, Sir."

"Now hear this: this is your Prime Minister speaking. I want all fighting among cabinet ministers to stop. I want a quiet, calm collegial attitude among all ministers.Do you hear me? All fighting [...]

"What is it, Sheila?" "I won't work with that woman!" "Anne McLellan is an excellent minister, Sheila.Just because you don't get along with someone doesn't mean you don't see them!..BZZZ" "Paul Martin on line two Prime Minister." "I'm in Brazil"

"Anne! Great work on the health portfolio!" "Sheila! Couldn't have a better heritage minister!" "Keep up the excellent job in the house!" "Likewise! Sock it to 'em in the commons!" "Cow!" "Hussy!"

"Mr. Broadbent drank a case of Pepsi and went shooting out the window!"

"Empress of Britain in 1931." "No..no...before that." "The U.S. Merrimac 1898." "Nope...nope..further back" "Viking longships 944 A.D." "That's it...that's the one...Hello? Hello?" "We found your replacement part..!"

"Somebody said something about Toronto and he just exploded!"