Peterson, Roy

"However, if we just give it all back, the latest surveys see to indicate that we'd have no need to worry about the deficit, the GST or Quebec. All that would be the uh, Indians' problem."
"Stay tuned for The Journal ... Barbara Frum and 16 Central Canadian experts and reporters explain western alienation." "What'll it be - Benny Hill or Arsenio Hall?"
"NDP bitch!" "Socred slut!"
"So what do we do about these cellular telephone leaks?" "If it's the Socred model, remove the defective A-G ... if it's the NDP model, save it for their next national leadership convention." "Hello? Mr. X?"
"Today ... our chef, in consultation with zee Vancouver medical health officer, recommends zee Sole Anglias Port Moody with zee pre-cancerous lesions ... m-m-m-m-m formidable! Zee Shellfish Burrard, however ... is a definite no-no."
"... works every time ~ snow 'em with statistics and they don't even think to ask about the pre-1984 figures ..."
"Not only can we see into deep space ... we can almost see the top of the Canadian deficit."
Sovereignty. Separation! Secession ...
"You may not grow up to be something useful like a fish plant worker or a builder of icebreakers ... however, if you'd like to be a cabinet minister ..."
"It's still ... the right thing to do ..." "It won't lower your blood cholesterol but it's guaranteed to raise your blood pressure."
Meech Lake Sink or Swim Club
"Even in winter everything keeps on blooming in B.C.!" "Even the fertilizer fails to freeze."
"Perhaps you should make the announcement without the lampshade, Mr. Premier." "But I'm still the life of the party, right?"
"It would help if Brian allowed a little plastic surgery on this thing." "You know he's against any kind of elective surgery."
"C'mon Willie Zalm, just one more kick at another byelection!"
"I say old chap ... do you need assistance?" "Oh no, I'm just maintaining a low profile ..."
"... so then I introduced perestroika and glasnost and the whole damned country started to fall apart ..." "I know. We call it Meech Lake and GST."
"And now ... more jokes! The Cabinet shuffle ...!"
"Ah'm back in the saddle again ... Back whar a friend kin drive y'round th' bend ..."
"It's because the government jet is an air ambulance that I need to use it! Everyone knows the Cariboo is a sick Socred riding."
"OYEZ ... OYEZ ... OYEZ. Dateline Penticton: NO NOOSE IS GOOD NEWS ... SOCRED LYNCH MOB FAILS TO ZAP ZALM ... Film at eleven ..." All the Good News that Fits
"Dammit! Can't you peasants even try to understand?" "The king and his ministers need the whopping pay increase to cover the cleaning bills ... caused by handling all the filthy lucre that we're saving you by supplying reduced services!"
"What - me worry?" with apologies to Alfred E. Neuman
"Hi folks! My trip to the Far East was fa-a-a-a-a-antastic! Everybody wanted to know about my plans to privatize B.C. government holdings!"
"Sure, B.C. saved a bundle with the photocopied textbooks ... but we'll save the big bucks with the photocopied teachers."