Rice, Ingrid

"It's not nice to call us porkers ... " "...it'll only remind voters of OUR inflated pensions just as we're deflating theirs"

Doug Young's Fine Points of Debate "Oh yeah? Well, yer FAT!" "Gimme yer lunch money or I'll BEAT the @*!!! outta ya"

SHEEP SUCCESSFULLY CLONED "Fabulous! Imagine the possibilities: with cloning I could become minister of everything!" "Wait a minute silly me ... I already am!"

ROCK ACCUSED OF SPENDING TAX $$$ ON PR FIRM TO MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD DURING AIRBUS AFFAIR "As a taxpayer, I have only one thing to say:" "I want a refund"

Club Keno "They's horning in on our territory." The B.C. Govt. stands behind the police crack down on illegal video lottery terminals

"After 3 years of tough budgets we can finally free up some money:" " ... for buying votes!"

Right Honourable Jean Chretien Prime Minister Liberal P.R. Department "Awright, awright I promise not to throttle the voters ... allo? ALLO?" Flag day preparations get underway

Clark claims coincidence that all schools to get funds are in NDP ridings Glen Clark does his impression of the average British Columbia: "DUH."

"I asked them to adjust my PULLEY and the next thing I know I got a chicken down my back" Hazards of "French Only" hospital care in Quebec

The Canadian military is used new camouflage

TRAFFIC COURT PAY FINE HERE "Just think of us as living off the avails of prosecution" Andrew Petter on: why the provincial government splits photo radar revenue 100/0 with the municipalities.

FEDERAL ELECTION IN THE AIR "Deficit schmeficit! It's time to worry about jobs, jobs, jobs ... " "Mine, Jean's, Sheila's ... "

"How do we know they're really dead?" "Maybe they're just hiding let's give'em a few more years to make a withdrawal .. " "Y'know I'm not sure those Jewish accountants WERE interest bearing ... [...]

"It's not bad enough you spending my money: you had to go and give Glen Clark something to gloat about. You twit!"

"Churchill Falls power contract" Lucien tells a Newfie joke

Military land mines

BC LIBERALS DING TAXPAYERS $776,000 FOR PARTISAN "SURVEY" Separated at birth: Gordon Campbell, Gordon Campbell's brain

PARENTS URGED TO PARTICIPATE IN JR. HOCKEY "Okay, today we'll work on defence ... " "Now, repeat after me: NO! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME THERE! GO AWAY! I'M TELLING!" "I wonder if we'll learn offence too?" "I bet we get to use our sticks"

"We feel the Somalia Inquiry has exposed enough."

"Let them eat hake" Mifflin responds to charges the B.C. salmon fleet reduction will devastate coastal communities

"Bullseye!" Canadian military target practice

ROCK APOLOGIZES TO MULRONEY OUT OF COURT SETTLEMENT BLAMED ON RCMP BUNGLING "I hope you're satisfied"

SUPERMAN GETS NEW SUIT CLARK LOW IN POLLS PUBLIC ANGER ON RISE OVER BROKEN PROMISES CABINET SHUFFLED CLARK STILL JOKER IN PACK "Hmmmmm ... " BULLET PROOF ACID PROOF FLAME PROOF INDESTRUCTIBLE ONE OF A KIND

"G'way kid! Yer bothering me."