Norris, Len

"Scores 22 points in a basketball tournament and has yet to hit the dirty clothes basket with a sock."
"Sidney's letters to the Editor on Suez, H-bombs and Federal election issues will pale into insignificance after this masterpiece on the proposed 150 beer ..."
"... and I say the sooner the poor little tyke finds out the better."
"Somewhere back east ... probably natural ice ..."
"... it's called the Art of T.V. Watchin' or sompin' ..."
While it hasn't been reported as yet, it can be reliably stated that the club wholeheartedly endorses the new Budget as sound, sensible, fair and a fine piece of Conservative Legislation.
"... trouble with you people is, you hear John promise to cut taxes before he's elected then you come along and expect him to cut them again after he's elected."
"... and you can tell them it didn't give me the whitest wash, my hair didn't glow with sparkling radiance, they didn't relieve indigestion due to stomach upset in half the time, I still have [...]
"Shine my boots, polish my buttons, sharpen my pencil, count my tickets, keep my haircut, press my suit ... what d'they mean, I don't seem to have much to do!"
"Henry, how does it look from two pews back?"
"And 'tis lucky I am I didn't buy a ticket after all."
"I still say it isn't neccessary to drain the engine and gas tank to cross the border ..."
"I did mention it to them, but they just make change to the nearest cent."
"The provincial health minister, the hospital boards, the department of education, the university, the school boards, and we, can't afford a new baby sister for you and that's that."
"... I'm Frame-up Firelli, that's Charlie the Chiseller an' Nails Nolan an' working in the Gutter is Jack the Ripper."
"... all it keeps saying is '%*&! it's cold up here'."
"Sometimes I get the feeling I'm being gypped when the set's working perfectly."
"... I think we've been misinterpreting Randolph's report cards ... otherwise how come he's still in Grade II?"
"If the CPR can't afford 'em ... how d'you think you can?"
"... and now a brief message about yur picture tube ..."
"Studley ... I understand you are falling behind on two of your majors ... fees and board ..."
"... Well, you remember Hansel and Gretel, and their father was a poor woodcutter ..."
"I'd love to give something ... but when one's arms are full ..."
"You know how schoolboy fads go ... one day it's marbles, the jacks, conkers, yo-yos, hula-hoops ..."
If young minds are being corrupted by modern TV programs ... What must the commercials be doing to adults?