Raeside, Adrian

"That's it! We're shutting down the entire coho fishery industry! However, some B.C. salmon will still be available to B.C. fishermen."
Unfortunately for the swiftsure racers, a Chilean sub was also taking part in the festivities...
"You're charged with thirty counts of antitrust violations and one count of kidnapping." "Kidnapping?" "We're bundling charges."
Suharto inc.
"What a bizarre waste of time! You're all in need of psychiatric help and should be checked into the EMI!" "Lady, this is the EMI."
"Bummer! ...That means instead of doing twelve months for murder, we'll have to do eighteen."
In British Columbia, you can beat someone half to death and only do a few weeks jail time,...but chow down on one lousy salmon...
How to stop American fishermen from stealing Canadian salmon... "Hello, U.S. Department of Commerce? Bad news!...We've discovered gypsy moth eggs on coho salmon!"
"Let's skip Vegas this year, you said... Let's go to Victoria and soak up the family values and olde English charm, you said...."
"I can't believe it! No more Seinfeld!...What am I going to do on Thursday nights?" "Why not try reading a book?" "O.K....What channel is it on?"
[A tanker truck labeled "Viagra" provides fuel to a 737 aircraft]
"I'm sorry the premier isn't available for comment. He's busy putting youth to work." "Don't forget to clean the ashtray."
"Heh heh, the BC Human Rights Commission can't touch me. We now have a men's washroom, a women's washroom and a transsexual washroom....I've covered all the bases." "Table for two, please."
Q: What is the only thing growing in B.C.'s commercial salmon industry? A: The list of excuses
The pigeons come home to roost.
"...Under the B...Eight!" "Personally, I prefer golf."
If you are under the care of the Ministry of Children & Families and it is your 15th birthday, ...You'll get a cake...
Safety symbols explained: Flammable, Corrosive, Explosive, Approved as safe by the federal government.
Astronomers discover a giant tornado on the sun... Headed towards a giant trailer park.
"You really should prepare for the big one. If it hits, it could be weeks before the authorities can get to you." "We're not worried, we'll be the first people they come looking for." "Why is that?" "We didn't file a tax return this year."
Top 5 vacation spots! Where you'll find British Columbians relaxing and doing nothing... Mexico, Hawaii, Los Angeles, Okanagan, BC Liberal Caucus
"Pot?" "Coke?" "Viagra?"
identifying someone suffering from hepatitis c: identifying someone in the federal Liberal caucus:
"Bill Vander Zalm! ...The province needs your unique skills and style....You are the only one who can lead us in our darkest hours, Bill...I'm on my knees and begging you: Please come back!!" "Another damned editorial cartoonist."
"On the merger front; the good news is we've found a small Canadian company that can produce all the new signage we're going to need..." "And the bad news?" "We turned them down for a loan last month and they just went bankrupt."