Raeside, Adrian

"While the boys are in the half-pipe, what do you think about doing the Ross Rebagliati run?" "Righto. Your highness! What do you want; Acapulco Gold or Vancouver Island Hydroponic?"

"...And all those in favor of giving me a big raise..."

"I just picked up this darling designer handbag, made by a 13 year-old Chinese girl who was paid 15 cents an hour." "That's nothing! I snagged this to-die-for designer clutch purse, made by a 10 year old Malaysian girl who was only paid 10 cents an hour!"

One afternoon at the environmentally-correct landfill... "Sorry pal, we don't accept those anymore. And we don't take tires. Nope, don't take paper either." "Quit complaining, we still got another snow tire and two boxes of newspapers left..."

"$45,000 TO GET A SENATE SEAT? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Why, everyone knows all it takes, is to be a sycophantic, bootlicking toady."

"I'm not sure if this is the regular wait, or the doctor has closed his office in protest."

The NDP responds to news that B.C.'s economy is in the toilet "...I hope it's a union-made toilet."

World crises at a glance Kosovo: Serbs massacre ethnic Albanians... Algeria: Over 75,000 civilians murdered in on-going cycle of terror... Cambodia: More children maimed by landmines... Iraq: Saddam [...]

"I'm worried - The global weather patterns are changing." "Who cares, we've got glorious weather!" "Yeah, but this is the Antarctic."

"I think David Anderson is doing splendidly on job creation!" "...He's keeping us busy."

"...We're charging you under the Environmental Protection Act, for destroying the natural habitat of drug pushers."

If an asteroid should hit planet earth...asteroid lands in the ocean, creating a massive tidal wave....all life perishes. asteroid lands on the prairies, creating a huge dust cloud, blocking out the [...]

"Morning superintendent, any new developments on your suspension of that witch's son?"

Unfortunately, Jack Weisgerber and his buddy, were also at the special matinee showing of Bambi...

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Hey First Nations people! Got a hankerin' for a chunk of B.C.? Well c'mon down to Crazy Glens!..We got deals for you! We're blowing the entire province out the door! No money down and no [...]

"Forget it...You still got a pile of tax forms waiting for you at home."

Ministry of Children & Families

"This closure of doctor's offices is really inconveniencing me!" "You're trying to get a doctor's appointment?" "No, tee-off time."

Greenpeace, BC Loggers

"We need a Quebec Liberal leader who can match Bouchard's personality, understands P.Q. tactics and reflects our Quebec policy."

"Are we close to the ocean? You betcha! Only 60 yards. Make that 30 yards...10 yards..."

The Prime Minister's vision of Canada: