Raeside, Adrian

"Honey?...Guess what, I'm getting us a Malibu beach home!...It was washed ashore this morning."

"The Titanic movie is making millions in the box office, you know what that means..." "Titanic II: The Iceberg goes on to Terrorize a Group of Suburban Teens!" "Titanic: The Sitcom!" "Titanic III: [...]

Meanwhile in Mexico, Senator Thompson is waylaid by banditos... "Carumba! Ees Canadian Senator Thompson!" "Hey, can you give us any pointers?"

"The 'shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic' analogy is totally false!...We prefer to think of it as: 'adding more accommodation in first class'."

Victoria police justify shooting a dog during a drug raid: "We thought he was wearing a sandwich board."

"Pack your bags...you're going to the Persian Gulf." "Can I get my bag back?"

"I've enrolled little Mikey in a league that will be the first to play in the new Victoria arena, when it's finally built." "Oh? What league?" "The Old-Timers."

"...Just pretend he isn't there."

"The Olympics have inspired our idle son!...He's going to take up snowboarding and go for the gold!" "Fabulous!" "Hey!..Got any Acapulco Gold?"

"Sorry, but we'll have to strip you of your titles, we found significant traces of stupidity in your urine."

Ye Olde Allies Tavern

"B.C.'s Parliament Buildings turn 100: Such style, such elegance, such grace." "Too bad it hasn't rubbed off on the occupants."

Why the PM shouldn't be paid more than the lowest NHL player:

Layoffs, Heartless investors, Lousy management, Automation, Environmental regulations, Wood supply, Forest practices code, BC economy, Asian economy

"...And if you take another 2,000 logs, I'll toss in a container of laid-off sawmill worker's lunch pails."

U.S. weapons testing range.

"Yes. I'm sure you feel that your anxiety attack is serious, but I doubt if the doctors would consider it life threatening, Mister Ramsey."

"Perfect!...The ash will cover the unsightly rubble left by the upcoming earthquake."

"We want more and bigger ferries to the island. We want wider and faster highways into Victoria. We want more bars and niteclubs downtown. Hey! What happened to our small-town island innocence?!"

"...And I'm happy to report that due to the actions of my presidency, there has been phenomenal growth in the Washington D.C. law firms sector..."

"Ooooh! Aaaaah!" "Ooooh! Aaaah!"

Oh I'm a lumberjack and I'm not O.K...Worry all night, no work the next day, 'cause the shareholders have no more use for me...I wish those creeps on Bay Street, could feel my misery.