Harrop, Graham

"So you'd like to work for the royal household. Background?" "Three years with the IRA, two years with the 'Tattler'" "Ah, varied experience. Can always use that! Anything else?" "One of her [...]

"'scuse me, mum...bit of a security matter." "What is it, Guardsman?" "We found this blighter trying to climb over the wall." "Burglar?" "I want out!" "Philip"

"Hey, Mr. Dhaliwal Thanks, but we don't sell the immunity idol.Guess you've got to take your chances with that 'Cabinet' thing of yours! Cheers! Jeff Probst"

The Queen "Philip: What is going on? Palace security is a myth! ..."

The White House "The honourable Paul Martin, Ottawa. Dear Paul Congratulatins on becoming the new Liberal leader. I look forward to meeting with you as the new Prime Minister of Canada...."

"So you are leaving office, Chretien. Good luck!" "What do you mean by dat?" "If you had bought those new helicopters my government ordered you would not leave behind as much as you have." "Like [...]

"I don't believe this , Brian Mulroney selling pasta!" "No thanks to my old friend Karlheinz!" "The money he paid me is gone. He's in scheriber space and I'm stuck with 600 cases of Mama Rosa's [...]

"I don't believe this! Brian Mulroney, what are you doing here?" "Selling pasta! Karlheinz Schreiber paid me $300,000 to promote pasta products and by jingy that's what I'm going to do."

"Someone to see you, Prime Minister." "I do not 'ave time to see anyone who 'ave time to see me." "Sir, he's very insistent." "Can you not see dat I'ave my 'ands full to decide when I will leave [...]

"Listen up, the new senate appointments are here!" "What news?" "Truman, is he well?..."

"Why me? Listen up...!"

"There were thousands of us on the Circumpolar Tour, artists, writers, plumbers...stretching out as far as the eye could see. We were all grazing on a hill just outside of Moscow. Something must have [...]

"It all started with that damn Circumpolar tour, I told the Prime Minister there were too many of us!' "What happened?" "We were all just milling about on a plain outside of Moscow, Maurice Strong [...]

"My name is Adrienne Clarkson and I have a complaint...that damn Circumpolar tour!" "Proceed!" "How would you like to navigate the far north stopping only to commune with the occasional walrus, [...]

"And how are you enjoying camp irving, Mr.Rock?" "Boy, this is great! Salmon fishing, kayaking, canoeing, sing-a-longs, wienie roasts, you name it and all thanks to Irving oil!" "More orange juice?" "I'll pass." "

"Look, it's the new ferry parking regulations, Mac! You've been parked here for over an hour...Now pay!" "I don't care! I refuse to pay!" "All right ...I'm calling a cop!"

"Allan, do not tink dat you'ave done anything wrong! You'ave accepted a free trip to a fishing camp.Dat is all!" "No, Prime Minister, there I was in an Irving boat trolling with my rod and spinner [...]

"We had joy we had fun at Camp Irving in the sun and our vino and our rent cost us nothing not a cent...."

"Mr. Speaker, is there any truth to the rumour that members of government accepted a free fishing trip. And further, I would ask how many members of government took advantage of the free trip?" "Ignore the question."

"No more naked women! From now on it's the cheeseburger of the month!"

"People say to me dat Paul Martin is acting like the Prime Minister and dat is true. Already George Bush is not speaking to 'me. I say..."

"New script, bing...'A group of patients is evicted from a small town hospital by a penny-pinching premier intent on blancing books'..." "The bills of ST. Mary's?

"Tonight I am telling you dat I am leaving the office of Prime Minister in good shape. Aline'ave wash the curtains and I'ave paint the back porch....."