Norris, Len

[A man waits impatiently for a woman to get ready for New Year's Eve]
"... however, at the bargaining table I've enjoyed a wider scope of fancy and less criticism of demands by maintaining my naive and childlike faith in Santa Claus."
"... any sign yet of Mr. Gunderson's threat to dump a bus on us?"
"... coming to you live and in livid color ..."
"... say, I've got just the thing for the sniffles ... two parts rum, lemon, hot water ..."
"Mrs Garfield Weston, I presume ..."
"I'd like a bottle of whatever it is that the government says is OK to drink on a Sunday morning ..."
"Don't worry ... this is the only week of the year I let her drive."
"To keep the Senators happy, we'll go back to the old tried and true CBC shows where you can't tell the boys from the girls ..."
"Whopping raise, bonuses, sabbatical leave, shorter hours ... of course, they get him while he's awake."
The Canadian Open .... From a divot hole "Oh dear ... bad bounce!" "Lift the pin! ... I'm trying to ..." "About six inches to the left, if you ask me ..." "... A 3, and 4 is 7 and 2 is 9 and 3 is 11 [...]
"They're friendly! ... take cover!"
"Isn't that nice. His first day at school and already the principal would like to have a consultation with us ..."
"... must be one of those tourists Mr. Bennett says buys all his liquor."
"Isn't it nice ... our Harry wants to join the voice of Women."
"Hi there ... are you numbered among those who subscribe to the new friendly attitude of Canada and Russia?"
"If they're going to a school that plans to eliminate failure, they had better get to learn about it right here ..."
[People balancing atop a large, wobbly British pound symbol]
"Yes, dear ... I'll build an ice-boat, forty cubits wide and sixty cubits long and ..."
"... went down 20 cents? ...... ran fourth, eh? ...... yes dear, we'll take them on the picnic tomorrow."
"... always the way ... when you need a policeman there's never any around."
"Hello, Better Business Bureau? Misleading Packaging Department?"
"... the fights are further complicated because we can't agree on who is management and who is labor ..."
"... but get me to the church on time."
"He claims sanctuary, Sarg ... in a place for grownups only."