Raeside, Adrian

"Sorry...We're full up."

"Hey...If Joe Clark can do it..."

"Do you realise that you could feed an entire poor Honduran village for a month on what your parents spent to buy me?"

"By the way, how did that corporate downsizing seminar go?"

"There you go my good man! It's so lovely to hear a musical instrument played on the street. Best wishes for the holiday season and thank you for those beautiful tunes*" *Expires Jan 01/99

How the city of Victoria gets rid of snow on downtown streets: "Write each snowflake a ticket."

"Tell me it's not true, the allegations that the IOC is corrupt and run on a system of payoffs and graft." "Provide my relatives with a fat scholarship fund and I'll tell you."

["No Furby in sleigh"]

"The attacks are continuing relentlessly...There is virtually no defence left...Massive damage..The end could come at any time..." "O.K...So much for the White House...How're things in Baghdad?"

The bombing of Baghdad, 1991: Get out of Kuwait Saddam! - President Bush, The bombing of Baghdad, 1993: Open up those weapons sites Saddam! - UN Security Council, The bombing of Baghdad, 1998: Thanks for the excuse Saddam! President Clinton

"Dead?..No. He's just sleeping."

Vancouver Island

The year is 2099 and a probe from the Toronto sector stumbles upon Vancouver, British Columbia... "Hmm...Obviously once a prosperous and thriving civilization. I wonder what catastrophe befell it?"

What the extra two island highway lanes are for...

The ferry union's suspension of food service aboard B.C. Ferries, hits some businesses hard...

"Same time next year?"

No wood from B.C. old growth forests was used to produce this sneaker....Cheap Asian labour was exploited instead.

Great Xmas gift idea #31 THE GLEN CLARK DOLL, Wind it up and Ken and Barbie lose their jobs.

"Now pay close attention....This is Prozac and this is Valium...You'll need to take both before every shift."

"Mister Premier, British Columbians are loading up trailers and fleeing the province in droves! Can you do something to stop it?"

"Hey duude, didja hear we may be getting the winter olympics?" "Cool. How much is it an ounce?"

If the NDP govt. put as much effort into fixing the provincial economy as they are into selling the Nisga'a deal: B.C. POST'S $10 BILLION BUDGET SURPLUS!

"Omigosh! The windstorm has blown a tree into our house!"

"Sorry, but I'm facing financial ruin and can't afford to buy feed anymore....So I'm going to have to let you starve to death." "I suppose that's marginally better than having your throat slit and hung on a meat hook."