Uluschak, Edd

"I don't care if you DO want to be a sportscaster when you grow up, you still have to take English it's compulsory!"

REST ROOMS MEN & LADIES "That women's liberation movement has gone too far this time!"

"She must be the teacher!"

WEST GERMANY LOSES 123rd. STARFIGHTER "Here's a request for more Starfighters for West Germany except it's from East Germany!"

"Slow down you guys if you keep working at this rate, we'll be finished before the 5 o'clock rush!"

"Are you on strike in sympathy with the American housewives or is this just your normal unorganized inactivity?"

MONTREAL EXPOS $9,000,000 TAX CONCESSION CANADIAN TAXPAYERS

"We can be thankful our son's a high-school drop-out and won't be exposed to all those radical elements and riots on campus this fall!"

"Isn't it nice to get away from it all?"

TREASURY BOARD "Here's the reply from the postal unions to our latest wage offer!"

AUTO INSURANCE COMPANIES

"Remember the good old days when all we had to worry about was hunters?"

"I believe this gentleman was first, sir!" NATIONAL YOUTH ORCHESTRA OF CANADA WITH BRIAN PRIESTMAN FRI. AUG. 7

RACING FORM "It's post time!"

WARNING! MIRAGE POLLUTED

COFFEE-HOUSE REFUSES SERVICE TO "LONG-HAIRS" "I wouldn't tolerate any hairy hippies with their weird beards and funny clothes in my place of business either! EDMONTON OPERA GUILD

TRANQUIL TRANQUILIZERS LTD. "Hmm, I see the kids are out of school already!"

BELFAST PUB "It's times like these that makes one proud to be an atheist!"

B.C. INTRODUCES "SELF-DESTRUCT" I.D. CARDS "Hmm, we could print election promises on it, then .... poof!"

CANADA POST OFFICE PERSONNEL "What we're looking for in the postal service are aggressive men who aren't afraid to bring $355 a month home to their wives!"

"Claims he's analyzed everything with his chemistry set and only the pie and ice cream have a safe mercury content level!"

"Oh-oh, something tells me we might be next in line for the rotating strike!"

JOBLESS TO GET UP TO $100 A WEEK MINIMUM WAGE RAISED TO $1.65 "I've decided to better myself financially I quit!"