Uluschak, Edd

"Couldn't wait till I got home could you?"
"Look. Lady, we're not responsible for the words your boy makes with our blocks!"
"Take me to Cuba!"
"You're looking fine yourself .... Thelma? .... Martha? .... Abigail? .... Sue? ...."
"I think you'd better knock off playing 'Tis the season to be jolly' on the cash register - you're antagonizing the customers!"
"Isn't it wonderful that the air controllers strike has been averted - now mother will be able to come for her annual Christmas visit!"
"I'd like to buy a pair of gloves for my mother-in-law but I don't know what size she wears - 8 ounce or 12 ounce!"
"The mailman's wondering if we've been satisfied with our mail this past year!"
"This particular oil tanker model is so realistic that it leaves an oil slick in the bathtub!" "The oily bird gets the worm??"
"We can't force you to take a breathalyzer test but I'm going to give you a ticket for that awful breath!"
"And I got 5 apples, 3 paks of gum, 8 suckers, 2..."
"He gave it to me."
PONTIFF'S POWER MAY BE CUT "Probably forgot to pay his electricity bill!"
"Still want to know what I do with all that housekeeping money you give me?"
EDMONTON FREE FROM AIR POLLUTION ..... SO FAR "It's obvious they haven't listened to some of the local radio stations lately!"
FIGHTING CONTINUES IN IRELAND "I find it's best not to take sides when these primitives engage in their tribal battles!"
"Listen, if you're going to opt out of society, how about burning those credit cards?"
"He was all set for a week-end of world series, hockey, and football when the TV tube blew - that's when he went into shock!"
"Is this any way to treat a guy that fully supported your strike?"
"Now about these masochistic tendencies - when did you first notice that you actually enjoyed attending the Eskimo games?"
"There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Next time let's try it without the hat!"
"... and another dime, three quarters, some pennies and ..."
News Item: DRIVER DEMERIT SYSTEM ON WAY "I passed the test for the drivers licence but on the way home, I accumulated so many demerits it was suspended!"
"I know this is the fifth time this week I've brought it in for an oil change but this is the only place down-town I can park!"
"My folks won't let me watch programs with excessive violence - like newscasts and hockey games!"