Uluschak, Edd

"What makes you think that I watched Trudeau on TV today?"
"I simply told them-- if Peter Bargen can get an assistant, I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to!"
"I'm afraid this is all we have in your price range!"
"A communique from Vietnam Sir. They're asking about a bombing pause-- except it's from Saigon!"
"Instead of being such a disgusting healthy family, why doesn't one of you break a leg or come down with anthrax now and then so I could get my money's worth out of this health plan!"
VOTE FOR JACK CASS. "Put him down as an undecided voter"
[Hugh Hefner and Canadian prime ministers]
NEWS ITEM: MISALIGNED HEAD-LIGHTS TO BECOME ILLEGAL. "You must be mistaken officer, my headlights appear all right to me!"
"We're still losing altitude-- something will have to be tossed overboard!"
"No Madam, we have not begun any sit-down strike-- my darn feet are killing me!"
"Boy, management certainly has its nerve asking for wage-parity with us workers!"
[Charles de Gaulle depicted as Don Quixote]
NEWS ITEM: CALIFORNIA POLICE DEPARTMENT INFILTRATING NUDIST COLONIES "Just one more question chief. Where do we pin our badges?"
"Ah declare, these Birmingham England folk are no different from our Birmingham Alabama folk!"
"Would it be too much to ask if you could nag at me a little during the supper time to make me feel at home?"
"I guess the streets aren't breaking up fast enough by themselves this year..."
"What do you say we do something other than cooking mommie's meals for for next Mother's Day?"
"Oh, campus life is a real riot......figuratively speaking, that is!"
"Do you intend to sell your house ... or do you want the GOOD paint?"
"I'll tell you why I'm not crazy about spring--mowing, crabgrass, pruning, spraying, trimming, weeding, watering, fertilizing...."
"That really was unnecessary Mr. Takseevadre--I'm here to give you a refund!"
INDEPENDENCE DAY PARADE
[Richard Nixon depicted with Nelson Rockefeller as a jack-in-the-box]
"At 13 dollars per hour, it can wait till morning!"
"You realize of course, that by refusing me $.95 to buy wine, you're furthering Vancouver's cause in out-doing us!"