Peterson, Roy

The Comeback Kid " now for Plan B "

"Bertuzzi Update! Violence in Hockey! We are all appalled but let's look at that terrible incident again " " for the gazillionth time!"

"As you can see, Mr. Annan, Canada's armed forces are understaffed, underequipped and underfunded." "And yet you complain that the UN's leadership is unacceptable?"

U.S. FEDERAL GRAND JURY INDICTS 12 IN $20 MILLION U.S. POT CASE. B.C.BUD! "So do we look cool, smoking illegal pot?" "We must look like a cool $20 million U.S. to somebody."

The Driver of the Getaway Car "Hmm I always wondered why the Sponsorship Gang hung around the bank so much "

THE BELINDABIKE (PRODUCT TESTING & DEVELOPMENT) Hozzyerdaddy? Safety Airbags (Instant Political Hot Air). Mobile Research Library Politics for Novices, French for Novices, Party Leadership for [...]

ONE IN TWO CANADIANS OVERWEIGHT "Hmm he doesn't look all THAT much overweight "

Sanitation for the Nation

"Our latest polling survey from Quebec indicates that all this public outrage is about to subside "

Oh dear! Oh dear! Christopher Robin had retired from Hundred Acre Wood! With his liberal pension in tow, he had gone off to play golf at the Auberge Grand-Mre, leaving poor Winnie all covered in [...]

" and did you recognize any of the gang that stole your tax money?"

"As a fully paid up member of the Liberal Party, Bingo was relieved to know that his innermost feelings had a direct, if residual, result on the sole of the party."

"I'll have the Gringo Superpower Breakfast!" "I'll have the optional Free Trade Dog's Breakfast, with meatless Canadian beef hash and a heavily surtaxed softwood lumber toothpick."

"Our only real problem now is figuring out how to reload " $1 BILLION COST SO FAR. GUN REGISTRY

Meanwhile, in Cold Udder, North Dakota "Y'know, Doris, there's something about the surface of Mars that makes me feel at home "

"Hello, I'm Elwood P. Dowd, have you met my friend Harvey, the six-foot invisible rabbit?" "Hello, I'm Premier Gordon Campbell, have you met this ever-growing scandal, that the public isn't allowed to see?"

PM MARTIN WON'T SUSPEND HIS SENIOR B.C. CAMPAIGN AIDES "A Mr. Chretien to see you, sir he says you've screwed up already and he wants the job back "

DRESS-UP DUDBYA. Searching-for-weapons-of-mass-destruction suit. Photo-op/surprise suit. Looking-for-$83 billion-to-pay-for-war apparel. Optional. Army mess attendant's surprise-turkey fatigues. [...]

"You must respect Canadian rights." "Stand by, we may have to deport another one."

B.C. NDP LEADER. "THE CAT'S NEW BADGE ON HER HAT WAS SWEET!" "BUT WHAT SHE REALLY NEEDED WAS A LEGISLATIVE SEAT!"

"I feel different, Doc. I've quit the NRA, I think Bush blundered in Iraq and now I prefer hockey to baseball " "Hmmm it could be those less expensive prescription drugs that you bought in Canada "

" but, like Conrad Black, I'm exploring a whole range of alternatives from recapitalization to selling everything "

However, there were some Liberals who thought Paul may have become TOO hip for the room. "LET'S GEDDIT ON, BOZO!" "Y'mean Bono!"