Rice, Ingrid

"U.N. weapon inspectors don't worry me. - Not when I have a secret weapon that will bond all Arab and Muslim nations together in a unified hatred of America, Say hello, Dubya"

"The dustiest most out-of-touch bunch of fuddy duddies you can imagine came out in favour of legalizing marijuana, Still can't get over it, Boggles the mind, I have just two questions: Who's their supplier and how do I place my order?"

"Whoa, jeez! That's waaay too expensive....Besides, we don't want to set a precedent... .....That we care about the west." Ottawa Rejects a $400 mil. Loan Program for Forestry Firms Crippled by Punitive U.S. Duties on Softwood Exports

"Mr. President, the corporate greed scandals are affecting consumer confidence. We need to take action." "I know!! We'll attack Iraq! Can we? Can we? Huh? Huh?" "Mr. President, we're getting a black [...]

"Can't blame her! of "faster, higher, stronger," "higher" is the only part of the Olympic motto a bridge player can achieve with any certainty."

"The Clark trial is over and the verdict is in: Guilty of stupidity, He's complaining the $5 to $6 mil spent on the police investigation could have gone to finding missing east-side women" "After [...]

"Back-to-school supply lists aren't what they used to be: Binder, pen, pencil, paper, eraser, chalk, locker, blackboard, chair, desk, photocopier, overhead projector, VCR, file cabinet, floor polisher...."

"Another world leader, here to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor." "And it's narrowing! - Used to be a few thousand miles - Now it's only a few feet. Mission accomplished."

["Sumas, Wash., power plant gets go ahead"]

Official Portrait Jean Chretien, Prime Minister 2002-2004

"Take me out of the ball game I won't play for the crowd I won't put up with a luxury tax I don't care if fans never come back I got loot, loot, loot in my pocket If they paid me too much who's to [...]

"Burning building? People inside? Gawd no, don't go in. Labour code says it's too danged hot. ...Just save the people who made it out." If Ottawa was In Charge of Firefighters...

How David Collenette Stays Cool

"Bush is advocating armed conflict against "Nations that have proven themselves to be bad neighbours and bad actors"" "Well I guess that leaves us no choice...When do we invade the U.S.?"

"About doggone time"

"We need a leader who can beat Chretien. A leader Canadians can get behind. Someone who will infuse new blood into the Progressive Conservative Party. Hello? Paul Martin?"

"A five-year-old photo radar ticket...My only options are to pay it or take it to court where it will probably be thrown out due to unreasonable delay...Which explains the delay...They had to close down the courthouse first"

"We're thinking of doubling maternity benefits" "Gotta line up a supply of babies to kiss" Laying the Groundwork for a 4th Term Election Campaign

"Not tonight, we have a headache" The Introduction of the State Into the bedrooms of the Nation Makes for an Unlikely Threesome

"The Chretien government has issued a list of terrorists and a warning. Anyone caught financially helping the people on this list could face up to life in prison." "Is Paul Martin's name on the list?"

"Run!!" Recruiting Youth to the Catholic Clergy Proves Difficult

"I never would have thought it possible...Unheard of..Shocking..The mighty have fallen. The end of an era..." "I know, I can't believe WorldCom filed for bankruptcy" "WorldCom? I was talking about Tiger Woods"

"Chretien says when he was young the word marijuana did not exist" "Neither did the automobile...The telephone...Talking pictures.."